Also, it’s expensive as hell at $38/4 pack of pods. I didn’t survive shooting cocaine, smoking meth, 12 grand mal seizures, and multiple suicide attempts to die from the goddamn Juul. Here’s the ugly bottom line, smoking is the major cause of death among people in recovery. Marty Mann (founder of the National Council on Alcohol and Drug Dependence, Senator Harold Hughes (founder of the Society of Americans in Recovery and sponsor of landmark alcoholism treatment legislation as well as some key players in the founding of Narcotics Anonymous ALL died of smoking-related disorders, namely emphysema, and cancer. Marie Nyswander (co-developer of methadone maintenance), Mrs. Looking at the bigger picture, what’s frightening is that Bill Wilson (founder of AA) Dr. Or the meth addict who only eats organic. Or the alcoholic who still takes their vitamins. So here I am avoiding everybody, sheltering in place, wearing an N95 mask everywhere, donning latex gloves, spraying down my groceries with alcohol, washing my hands and using hand sanitizer like an OCD germaphobe, only to be vaping? It’s so classically alcoholic/addict it’s almost laughable. And I am not young! The country is so concerned with the preliminary findings from studies that lawmakers are urging the FDA to clear e-cigs from the market during the pandemic. Just recently Stanford came out with a study that young people who vaped were 5-7 times more likely to be infected by Covid. I think we all that not vaping is the safest of all. Maybe it’s safer than smoking but it’s not totally safe. What we do know is that people who vape have higher levels of heavy metals in their urine. A respiratory therapist once told me that people who vape will end up with intractable pneumonia and this was pre- COVID. But here’s the real deal: we don’t know the long term effects of vaping. I’m lonely and stressed and scared and it’s okay to vape. When Covid hit I thought to myself “Well vaping during a respiratory illness pandemic is super stupid” but then I found some article about people who smoked have lower rates of infection. Because I like the ritual of putting something to my mouth. However, he recovered and I continued to vape. I felt I needed something to take the edge off. This last vaping relapse began in the fall of 2019 when my father got cancer. And as my smoking or vaping continued, my head would tell me “I need SOMETHING. “Well, at least I’m not using,” was my usual rationalization. I could go months or years but once something really stressful hit me like a break up or a parent’s illness, back to smokes I’d go. From then, it was an on and off relationship. I think I started smoking in my first rehab at 24 which is pretty common. The WHY of people in recovery smoking is not that hard to figure out. Nicotine is addictive and we like addictive stuff. I’m not going to bore you with the stats. There’s a high comorbidity of mental illness and substance abuse. People in recovery smoke more than the general population. People with mental illness smoke more than the general population. “You put the bead up your nose? Okay, no more beads. 80!!! That’s like 4 packs of cigarettes every 36 hours. I had some headaches, dry mouth, sore throat but whatever, right? In terms of nicotine, 4 Juul pods is equivalent to 80 cigarettes. I had some chest pain but I brushed that off. I quit vaping cold turkey 30 days ago but who’s counting? I was ripping through 4 Juul pods every day and a half. This is not the first time I’ve written an article like this but I pray it is the last.
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